DANVILLE, IL—After a particular combination of vocalizations and gestures garnered him several laughs Tuesday, local man Terry Lanier announced his plans to repeat the series of actions regularly for the next 12 years.
CHICAGO—Following a protracted period of creative stagnation, struggling 27-year-old musician Tom Ruskin announced Friday his plans to retreat to a remote cabin in the Illinois woods with just his acoustic guitar and an old four-track recorder in or...
MCKINLEY PARK, AK—Denali National Park ranger Steve Griggs confirmed that a grizzly bear suffered a mild sprain when it mauled a hunter Wednesday, the 400-pound animal awkwardly twisting its paw while crushing the man's skull.
SACRAMENTO, CA—In an effort to reduce prison populations throughout the state, California governor Jerry Brown announced today that he would release all inmates who seemed as though they were nice enough people.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...