adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Wide-Eyed Minor Leaguer Never Thought He’d One Day Be Playing In NBT Bank Stadium

SYRACUSE, NY—Days after stepping foot onto the minor league baseball diamond for the first time, recently called up Syracuse Chiefs catcher Kris Watts told reporters Wednesday that he never in his wildest dreams thought he would one day have the chance to play in the “legendary” NBT Bank Stadium. “As a kid, you always fantasize about someday playing at the ’T, but to see it actually happen—it’s just incredible,” said the wide-eyed AAA backstop, adding that he still can’t believe he gets to run the bases on the same “hallowed ground” where Syracuse legend Corey Brown once hit a grand slam off Ryan Feierabend in front of 11,000 screaming Chiefs fans. “I mean, I leave my house every day and drive right up to 1 Tex Simone Drive like it’s the most normal thing on earth. And then I walk out of the dugout to play catch with guys like Yunesky Maya and Mark Lowe. It’s just crazy to think about.” Watts added that he still hadn’t quite wrapped his head around the fact that he now plays under iconic Chiefs manager and former Pittsburgh Pirates third-base coach Tony Beasley.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close