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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals Suggest Dolphins Courting Pete Carroll

MIAMI—Although Dolphins officials are being coy—some say almost coquettish—about whether or not they met with Pete Carroll concerning their open coaching position, the remnants of a tray of chocolate-dipped strawberries, several half-melted floating candles, and 54 near-empty wine glasses in the Dolphin Stadium players' lounge suggest the organization is seriously wooing the USC head coach. "Miami planned this whole elaborate night to show Pete that they were genuinely interested in him: the stadium lights were dimmed, soft Al Green music was piping out of the PA system, and there was a trail of unwound athletic tape, hastily discarded football jerseys, and kicked-off cleats leading all the way to the Dolphins' team bedroom," ESPN analyst Len Pasquarelli said. "If everything goes smoothly, this deal should be done by the end of this upcoming lost weekend." Some eyewitnesses, however, claim they saw an unshaven, visibly upset Carroll stomp his way to a waiting taxi outside Dolphin Stadium at 4 a.m. after Bill Cowher allegedly showed up to thank the Dolphins for the box of chocolates they sent him.

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