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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Winter Olympics Inspire Nation’s Youth To Try Sports Their Parents Can’t Afford

WASHINGTON—Inspired by the breathtaking acrobatics and death-defying high speeds of Winter Olympics events, the nation’s youth were reportedly motivated this week to go out and try sports their parents could never possibly afford. “Cool, I can’t wait to hit the slopes and do that,” said 15-year-old Davenport, IA resident Eric Wallace, echoing the sentiment of young people across the country whose families can’t pay for the highly specialized equipment and clothing, beginner instructions at expensive training facilities, participation fees, extensive travel, lift tickets, or inevitable medical bills. “It’s going to be amazing when I’m flying across the snow and flipping around in the air like Shaun White.” Though concerned about shelling out at least $3,000 before their children ever step foot on snow or ice, the nation’s parents were reportedly excited about the money they would inevitably save when American youths immediately quit the sports after complaining they were too difficult.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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