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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Wisconsin Has Crush On Minnesota

MADISON, WI—After years of silent ardor, Wisconsin finally admitted Monday to having a serious crush on its neighbor Minnesota. "Dear Minnesota, I've been wanting to say this for a long time, but I've been too shy—I think you're cute," the Badger State wrote in a three-page letter it slipped under the door of the Minnesota State Capitol in St. Paul. "I think your Glacial Ridge Trail is so pretty. I'll be sitting between Illinois and Michigan if you want to talk to me." Minnesota, which harbors no romantic feelings for Wisconsin, is reportedly trying to figure out a polite way to let the state down easy.

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