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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Wistful Kim Jong-Un Stumbles Onto Childhood Drawings He Made Of Nuclear Attacks On West

PYONGYANG—Experiencing a deep sense of nostalgia while sifting through the stack of old papers, North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un reportedly stumbled onto childhood drawings Monday that he had made of nuclear attacks on the West. “Gosh, time really flies, but I can still clearly remember drawing these pictures of an all-out nuclear strike on the West when I was in kindergarten,” said the wistful Kim, chuckling at the crudely rendered crayon depiction of several nuclear missiles flying toward what appeared to be the landmass of North America. “These nukes are about half the size of the United States, and there’s definitely not enough mushroom clouds. I used to entertain myself for hours by drawing bombs destroying American cities. Aw, I love this one where all the little stick-figure people are screaming.” At press time, North Korea’s state-run media was circulating the childhood drawings as proof of their Dear Leader’s prescience.

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