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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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'With Binomials, Just Remember FOIL,' Reports Man Keeping Teens From Having Sex Between 2:30 And 3:20

BEDFORD, NY—"When multiplying binomials, just remember the acronym FOIL," a man said Friday, thereby preventing a classroom of teenagers from engaging in rampant, uncontrolled sexual intercourse for the 50-minute period between 2:30 and 3:20 p.m. "It's easy: The product of two binomials is the sum of the products of the first terms, the outer terms, the inner terms, and the last terms," explained the man, unaware that if he were to turn off his overhead projector and leave the room the rush of hormones coursing through the 16-year-olds would cause them to strip off their clothes and start rutting like animals. "Come on, guys, I know it's last period, but try and stay with me here." With 15 minutes to go, the man stressed the fundamental importance of the mathematical concept to a group of teens busy mentally ranking which classmates they'd most like to fuck.

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