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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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WNBA Draft To Double As Bachelorette Auction

NEW YORK—In order to stimulate interest in the WNBA and allow its fans to get to know the sport's rising stars in a more intimate setting, the 2006 player draft will double as a charity bachelorette auction, with all the proceeds going directly to the cash-strapped league. The WNBA is billing the event as a showcase of talented, interesting, and fun women who would be great catches for a team in need of some offense or anyone who's free next Saturday night. "Seimone Augustus is going to go high, both in the draft and the bidding," WNBA analyst Ann Meyers said, referring to the 6'1" LSU forward who averaged 20.1 points per game and is always up for a good horror flick. "But watch out for Monique Currie, the Duke star with a dominant court presence and a love of pizza and just hanging out, as she is an impact player on and off the court." Meyers added that, with a total of 42 players expected to be selected and bid on over the draft's three rounds, every single WNBA fan should be able to win at least one date.

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