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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Woman Angered When Veiled Anger Expressed As Mock Anger Is Interpreted As Real Anger

CHEEKTOWAGA, NY—Anger was the order of the day Tuesday, when area resident Gwen McCullers, 41, reacted angrily to husband Craig's insinuation that she was angry. Sources report that real anger over an inexpensive, thoughtless anniversary gift surfaced in the form of thinly veiled mock anger on the part of Gwen, who suggested to Craig that "another goddamn cheap beaded car seat" would be a suitable gift for his mother's 70th birthday. Gwen's veiled anger, which she disguised as mock anger, turned to openly displayed real anger when Craig responded, "What? You said you didn't want to make a big deal out of the anniversary." After 15 minutes of discussing the various complexities, emotional underpinnings and larger implications of the previous discussion, both parties walked off angrily. "I was just pretending to be angry as a little joke," Gwen said angrily.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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