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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Woman Angered When Veiled Anger Expressed As Mock Anger Is Interpreted As Real Anger

CHEEKTOWAGA, NY—Anger was the order of the day Tuesday, when area resident Gwen McCullers, 41, reacted angrily to husband Craig's insinuation that she was angry. Sources report that real anger over an inexpensive, thoughtless anniversary gift surfaced in the form of thinly veiled mock anger on the part of Gwen, who suggested to Craig that "another goddamn cheap beaded car seat" would be a suitable gift for his mother's 70th birthday. Gwen's veiled anger, which she disguised as mock anger, turned to openly displayed real anger when Craig responded, "What? You said you didn't want to make a big deal out of the anniversary." After 15 minutes of discussing the various complexities, emotional underpinnings and larger implications of the previous discussion, both parties walked off angrily. "I was just pretending to be angry as a little joke," Gwen said angrily.

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