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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Woman Assures Friend She Has Blackouts From Drinking All The Time

COLUMBUS, OH—When Yolanda Franks expressed concern that friend Becky O'Neill couldn't remember the second half of an apartment-warming party Saturday, O'Neill assured her that she has blackouts all the time. "It's no big deal," O'Neill said Tuesday. "Sure, I had a bit too much too drink, but I got to work Monday fine. No need to worry." O'Neill added that she just shakes off her frequent blackouts, as she does the occasional unplanned pregnancy.

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