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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Woman Builds Ironclad Case Proving Mila Kunis Looks Bad Without Makeup

MILFORD, DE—After several months spent compiling and analyzing hundreds of magazine articles, internet slideshows, and transcripts of the television program Entertainment Tonight, area woman Erin Ward, 27, presented to her boyfriend on Monday her ironclad case proving actress Mila Kunis looks bad without makeup, sources are confirming. “Evidence of the disparity in Ms. Kunis’ attractiveness with makeup versus sans makeup dates back to 2007 at the earliest and is, as you can see, stark and irrefutable,” said Ward, gesturing to a corkboard-mounted flowchart chronicling all of Kunis’ public appearances in the past five years. “I’d like to direct your attention to Sample A, this photograph of Ms. Kunis on the red carpet of the 2012 People’s Choice Awards. Now compare that to this photograph of her in a restaurant just two weeks later when she was not wearing makeup. Note the puffier eyes, the saggier cheeks, the pale complexion. Please note as well that, should further evidence be required, I have five full boxes’ worth of documents supporting this very same conclusion.” Ward ended her 35-minute briefing by confirming that, sadly, her findings have thus far been persistently ignored and distorted by the mainstream media, though never disproven.

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