adBlockCheck

Woman Doesn't Have Single Photo Where She's Not Hugging Someone

Top Headlines

Recent News

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Woman Doesn't Have Single Photo Where She's Not Hugging Someone

ST. CLOUD, MN—According to friends and coworkers, Krista Stoddard, 33, a St. Cloud-area paralegal, doesn't have a single photo of herself where she's not hugging someone.

Stoddard puts her arm around a friend in a 1999 photo.

"It takes a while to pick up on the pattern, but once you do, it's really freaky," said Rebecca Donohue, a graphic designer and longtime friend who recently went through Stoddard's photo collection to assemble a collage for her. "If you go through all her pictures from grade school to the present, you won't find a non-huggy shot. With every photo, it's 'Here's me and Janine,' or 'Here's me and my friend Robbie—isn't he a hottie?' or 'Here's me and a statue of Michael Jackson at Madame Tussaud's—I did this one on a dare.'"

"I started seeing the pattern with the pictures she took in Greece with her friend Susan [Ortiz]," Donohue continued. "She's in a foreign country, so you'd think there would be at least one shot of Krista not hugging somebody, right? Wrong. In every picture, she's hugging a guy selling sunglasses on the beach or people in a bar or just some poor sap walking by that got suckered into the picture. It's like a compulsion with her."

More disturbingly, Donohue noted that even in the photos where Stoddard is alone, she is depicted in the act of hugging.

"She has a lot of photos where she's hugging her favorite stuffed rabbit, Señor Nose," Donohue said. "There are pictures of her with her arms around a statue of Abe Lincoln, and even one of her squeezing a yield sign. Maybe she doesn't know what else to do with her arms."

Jon Bergtraum, a coworker of Stoddard's, said he witnessed her hugging-compulsion firsthand last month at a company picnic.

"Everyone was having a nice time, and then someone broke out a camera," Bergtraum said. "Every time someone pointed it at Krista, she'd say, 'Ooh, get a picture of me and Marta!' or 'Hey, Jon, get in here!' I don't think she even knows she's doing it."

Dr. Andrew Pulsipher, author of True Exposure: The Psychology Of Photos, said a hug-intensive photo collection is not uncommon.

"Many people find posing for a hugless photograph unnerving, like an awkward silence," Pulsipher said. "By not physically embracing another, we are forced to confront what frightens us most: ourselves. Another explanation is that hugging, as Krista puts it, is simply 'more fun!'"

Donohue said she has four more photo albums to analyze before she has seen all of Stoddard's photos. The media will be notified should she find a picture of her not physically embracing something or someone.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close