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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Woman Panics After Accidentally Getting Into Exact-Change Lane

DES PLAINES, IL–Motorist Gloria Eckstrom, 64, panicked Monday after accidentally entering an I-90 toll-booth lane explicitly marked "Exact Change Only." "Oh, my goodness," said Eckstrom, the flow of traffic carrying her toward a basket into which she would soon be expected to toss 40 cents. "I'm in the wrong lane." Eckstrom was able to merge into a nearby "Manual" lane at the last possible moment, averting disaster.

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