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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Woman Turns Down $50 Million Offer From Professional Steeplechase League To Participate In Olympics

BEIJING—In a rare show of selflessness not often seen in sports, Norwegian Olympic steeplechase competitor Kristine Engeset told reporters Monday that she has turned down the four-year, $50 million offer from the New York WaterJumps—the National Woman's Steeplechase League's most elite team—in order to retain her amateur status and participate in the Beijing Olympics. "Yes, the NWSL offers national exposure, you get to travel to over 30 different cities in the United States and Canada, and you make the big money, but for me, the chance to represent your country is the ultimate privilege," said Engeset after a midday workout consisting of two hours of barrier jumping. "I told myself, the money for good steeplechasers will always be there, but the Olympics is the Olympics." According to NWSL's commissioner David Sizemore, Engeset may have another chance to participate in the Games if she turns pro in America, as there is strong national interest in sending a dream team of professional steeplechasers to London in 2012.

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