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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Woman Who Claims Book Changed Her Life Has Not Changed

MEMPHIS, TN— Despite claims that Bruce Wilkinson's The Prayer Of Jabez: Breaking Through To The Blessed Life, "totally changed [her] worldview," payroll secretary Brenda Haskell is the same shallow, distracted person she has always been. "Yeah, ever since reading it, she's really been elevated to a higher, more profound spiritual plane," coworker Stephanie Roule said. "I guess that's the spiritual plane where you spend all day obsessing over your nails."

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