adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Woman Who Claims Book Changed Her Life Has Not Changed

MEMPHIS, TN— Despite claims that Bruce Wilkinson's The Prayer Of Jabez: Breaking Through To The Blessed Life, "totally changed [her] worldview," payroll secretary Brenda Haskell is the same shallow, distracted person she has always been. "Yeah, ever since reading it, she's really been elevated to a higher, more profound spiritual plane," coworker Stephanie Roule said. "I guess that's the spiritual plane where you spend all day obsessing over your nails."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close