Woman Who Left Room Crying Earlier Expects To Jump Back Into Party Just Like That

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Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey

Last People Left At Party A Ragtag Assembly Of Friends Of Friends

PHILADELPHIA—Struggling to maintain the evening’s previous energy levels as they sipped on drinks and chatted aimlessly between long, silent pauses, a ragtag assortment of friends of friends were reportedly all that remained at host Josh Harno...

Report: 43% Of Party Invitations Unprovoked

TUCSON, AZ—Claiming that millions of unsuspecting recipients are caught off-guard each year, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Arizona found that 43 percent of all party invitations are entirely unprovoked.

Twister Party Fails To Get Dirty

LOUISVILLE, KY–Despite expectations that a group of adults playing the physically demanding Milton Bradley game would degenerate into a sexual free-for-all, University of Louisville graduate student Amanda Corcoran's invite-only Twister party failed to get dirty, a disappointed party attendee reported Saturday.

I'm A Dinner-Party Animal

Whoo-hoo! It's Friday night, people! Time to shake off the week, crack open a carafe of Zinfandel, get my hands in the canapés, and let loose. It's dinner-party time!

Insane Clown Posse Gets Ride To Concert From Mom

ROYAL OAK, MI—Despite last-minute fears of a concert cancellation due to transportation problems—as well as the fact that it was a school night—Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, the shock-rock rappers known as Insane Clown Posse, managed to make it to their Monday performance at Detroit's Joe Louis Arena after securing a ride from 2 Dope's mom.
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Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey

Woman Who Left Room Crying Earlier Expects To Jump Back Into Party Just Like That

RUTLAND, VT—Despite being seen weeping as she left the room 15 minutes ago, area woman Rebecca Fordham, 35, apparently expects to easily and unobtrusively slip right back into the party and continue socializing as if nothing had happened, sources confirmed Saturday evening. “Oh, hey guys,” said Fordham, somehow thinking she could casually just re-enter a lighthearted party conversation like everything was normal, despite her eyes now being visibly red and puffy from sobbing audibly through a locked bedroom door. “What’s everybody drinking?” At press time, sources said Fordham had excused herself from a group of friends, entered the bathroom, and begun crying again.

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