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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Woman With Shitty Job Her Own Boss

DEXTER, MI—Cynthia Rimler, self-employed for the past three months as a sales representative for RoyalAire Cosmetics, sets her own hours and answers to no one regarding her shitty job. "Nobody tells me what neighborhood to canvass or when," boasted Rimler, who earned $400 last month selling makeup door-to-door. "And if I decide I want a day off, hey, I'm the boss." Rimler added that she wouldn't be selling RoyalAire Cosmetics if the products weren't good enough for her own face.

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