adBlockCheck

Woman’s Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Woman’s Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship

CHICAGO—Admitting it took them some time to come around to the idea, the parents of local woman Laura Stevens said Wednesday that they had finally accepted their daughter’s mixed-attractiveness relationship with Kyle Baker, a man who is considerably worse-looking than she is. “To be honest, we were quite surprised when Laura brought Kyle to the house for the first time, but eventually we came around to it,” said Stevens’ mother, Janet, who noted that the pair were still met with uncomfortable stares and disapproval from other family members—especially Laura’s grandmother—at last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. “Her father was particularly upset at first, but now I think he’s learned to accept it, and he’s even grown to like Kyle. Besides, Kyle seems to make Laura happy, and that’s all that really matters.” Janet Stevens went on to say that, if the two ever got married, she would love their children no matter how average-looking they are.

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close