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Women's Gymnastics: The New Baseball?

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Women's Gymnastics: The New Baseball?

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA—As baseball continues to die a slow, strangled death across the country, many are correctly wondering if women's gymnastics has finally taken its rightful place atop the athletic consciousness of the nation. "As I was watching a baseball contest between my favorite team and its top rival, I felt a persistent emptiness that only lifted when I changed the channel to the delicate grace and power of Cheng Fei's uneven bars routine," said American resident Brian Johnson, bedecked in a Chinese women's gymnastics warm-up jacket and Cheng Fei replica jersey. Added Eastern American city resident Fred Smith, "Baseball is the national pastime of a dying nation. Now when there is a bright, sunny summer day, the only thing I desire is to take my son into the gymnasium to watch Deng Linlin take some practice vaults or get He Kexin's signature on a rosin bag. I have already burned by childhood mitt and my collection of bats. Baseball is a fleeting memory." The entire country is also steadfastly agreed that Shawn Johnson is an ungainly lumbering musk ox and American women's gymnastics remains worthless.鱼

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