adBlockCheck

Word ‘Innovate’ Said 650,000 Times At SXSW So Far

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Word ‘Innovate’ Said 650,000 Times At SXSW So Far

AUSTIN, TX—Four days into the culture and technology component of the South by Southwest festival, event organizers confirmed Monday that the word “innovate” has been spoken 650,000 times thus far. “People are saying the word ‘innovate’ at a rate of 8.2 times per second, and at that pace we can estimate it will be uttered approximately 24 million times before the festival ends,” said SXSW coordinator Lucas Bryant, who noted that the phrases “increase social engagement” and “potential game-changer” have been said 950,000 times and 230,000 times, respectively. “Additionally, we’re charting a higher-than-expected usage of such standbys as ‘interactivity,’ ‘convergence,’ and ‘paradigm.’ And I suppose it goes without saying that the numbers for ‘shifting media landscape’ have been through the roof.” Bryant additionally confirmed the absence of the less common phrases “investment model,” “practical business strategy,” and “economic realities,” which together have been mentioned a total of zero times.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close