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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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World Cup Inspires Whole New Generation Of Foreign Players To Someday Play For U.S.

BRASILIA, BRAZIL—Following the country’s successful run to the World Cup round of 16 in Brazil, sources confirmed Friday that the tournament has already inspired an entirely new generation of young foreign players to someday play for the U.S. national team. “Just seeing guys like Julian Green and Jermaine Jones made me realize that when I get older, maybe I could figure out a way to become eligible to represent the United States,” said 14-year-old soccer player and Frankfurt, Germany native Martin Köhler, who told reporters that watching the U.S. has motivated him to look into whether one of his grandparents might have been born in America, thereby allowing him to play for the team under FIFA eligibility rules. “Or maybe I could live in the States for five years and then join the U.S. team after playing for Germany at the youth level. It’s a long shot, sure, but then again, there’s no way I’ll be good enough to play for Germany’s senior team, so this will probably be the only way I can go to a World Cup.” Köhler went on to express his confidence that despite his mediocre touch and middling passing ability, he could likely win a spot on the U.S. roster in time for the 2018 World Cup.

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