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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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World Shocked By Possible Link Between Olympics, Big Money

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—As the Olympic bribery scandal widens, a stunned world is expressing disbelief over the notion that the Olympics have been tainted by big money. "To think that these IOC officials were exploiting the world's greatest amateur sporting event to make a buck—it's shocking," Phoenix resident Jill Petruso said. "The purity of the Olympics has been forever tarnished by greed and profiteering." In addition to receiving more than $500,000 in bribes from Salt Lake City officials, the IOC is believed to have accepted $450 million from Coca-Cola in exchange for special favors and privileges during the 1996 Atlanta Games.

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