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World's Youngest Person Born

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After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.
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World's Youngest Person Born

DELHI, INDIA—Harinakshi Himati, an 18-inch, 10-pound baby born less than one minute ago to Delhi taxi driver Ganaresh Himati and his wife Chameli, has been declared the world's youngest person by the United Nations Census Bureau. "This is an honor, to be sure," said Mr. Himati, displaying his daughter to the public for the first time. "Her mother and I knew she was young, but this is very unexpected." Harinaksi displaced her older triplet Chaya as the world's youngest person and is expected to hold the title for a few seconds until the birth of her sister Varija.

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