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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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WrestleMania 29 Marred By Inconsistent Officiating

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Following the conclusion of WrestleMania 29, professional wrestling fans confirmed Sunday that the pay-per-view event was spoiled due to the erratic officiating work of the referee crew. “I know these guys have a lot on their plates, but the number of missed calls I saw was just ridiculous,” said viewer Calvin Overstreet, who expressed frustration with the World Wrestling Entertainment officials' inconsistent enforcement of the rulebook, “nonchalant” three-counts, and tendency to allow themselves to be distracted from the matches by various WWE divas perched on the ring apron. “At one point, Brock Lesnar hit Triple H with a steel folding chair and the ref didn't do a thing about it. Even if he was still disoriented from getting suplexed into the announcer’s table, he could have gone to the replay booth and gotten the call right. Unbelievable.” At press time, the WWE had reviewed the officiating at WrestleMania 29 as well as other events, and announced plans to vacate every single match result for the last 60 years.

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