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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Wrigley Field Removes Iconic Ivy From Urinal Troughs

CHICAGO—In a move that has outraged many fans who consider the vines a treasured part of Wrigley Field’s charm and unique character, the Chicago Cubs announced Friday that they would be removing the stadium’s iconic ivy from its urinal troughs. “Urinating on the famed ivy has been a cherished, time-honored tradition throughout Wrigley’s 100-year history, but we must adapt to changing times,” said team spokesman Julian Green, explaining that a much-needed overhaul of the stadium’s outdated bathroom facilities, which have long ranked last in the Major Leagues, necessitates the dismantling of the vines. “We're aiming to provide a top-quality restroom for our fans, and the unfortunate reality is that maintaining and manicuring the ivy, a process which most people don’t realize takes place before nearly every home game, comes at an enormous cost to the organization. While we will certainly miss the sight of the wet leaves glimmering in the light, we believe this is the right move for the team and our fans.” Green added that after the removal process, the Cubs will raffle off the used ivy-covered urinal cakes from the 2014 season in an effort to raise proceeds for the local Chicago Boys and Girls Club.

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