Writer Unwilling To Admit His Screenplay Perfect Fit For Justin Long

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Vol 47 Issue 15

Guests Emerge Shell-Shocked From Rich People's Wedding

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA—Citing its 80-piece orchestra and real silver place settings, several of the 500 guests at Saturday's wedding of Boston socialite Elizabeth Kessler and investment banker Peter Graham emerged from the affair dazed and disoriente...
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Writer Unwilling To Admit His Screenplay Perfect Fit For Justin Long

LOS ANGELES—Screenwriter Jeff Haynes has refused to admit that actor Justin Long would be perfect to play video game tester Pete Knowles in his new film Change Of Plans, sources confirmed Saturday. "I think this is a role someone like Leonardo DiCaprio could really sink his teeth into," said Haynes, who knows deep down that Justin Long's easygoing, boyish charm would make him ideal for the part. "We need an experienced actor who is convincing as a romantic lead, but also someone who can just cut-up and be funny." When asked if he had ever considered the possibility of Long playing the character described in his screenplay as "5-foot-8.5-inches tall, with wide eyes, bushy eyebrows, and a charismatic smile," Haynes said he hadn't, but would be okay with producers bringing the actor in for a cold read "just to see."

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