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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Writer's-Blocked Buster Olney Only Able To Write 90,000 Words On Cliff Lee

BRISTOL, CT—Citing a crippling inability to think of anything at all to say, ESPN columnist Buster Olney stared at his computer screen for five hours Friday night after typing a mere 90,000 words of background information, speculation, and analysis on free-agent pitcher Cliff Lee. "I'm completely blocked," a bleary-eyed Olney told reporters, adding that he could only muster 10,000 words on Cliff Lee's poise. "His value to a team, the impression he made in Texas, what it would mean if he were to go to the Yankees—I barely squeaked out 40,000 words on that. I just need something, anything, some sort of spark to get me going." Remembering the white spot on the bill of Cliff Lee's baseball cap inspired another 9,000 words, but Olney eventually e-mailed his editor at ESPN, called himself a hack, confessed that he didn't deserve to be called a baseball analyst anymore, and submitted 14 articles on Derek Jeter's Golden Glove selection.

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