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Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

X-Files Stars Appear At Friendship Skills Seminar

CLEVELAND—X-Files fans from all over the Cleveland area flocked to the downtown Concourse Hotel this weekend to attend "Relating To Others X-ceptionally," a traveling friendship skills seminar and encounter session targeted specifically at the program's socially inept fan base.

A group of <I>X-Files</I> fans relax outside a Cleveland hotel during a break in last weekend's "Relating To Others X-ceptionally" friendship skills seminar. The two-day self-esteem workshop paired <I>X-Files</I> stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson (inset) with award-winning therapist Dr. Ellyn W. Rosenblum.

"The truth is out there," X-Files star David Duchovny told the predominantly male, all-white crowd. "But friendship, real friendship—not the imaginary kind—is within yourselves."

More than 400 people paid $150 each to attend the two-day seminar, which teamed Duchovny and X-Files co-star Gillian Anderson with award-winning therapist Dr. Ellyn W. Rosenblum.

"Having David and Gillian at the seminar has really helped get people excited about improving their friendship skills," said Rosenblum, author of the best-selling Go For It!: 30 Days to a More Outgoing You. "The response has been tremendous."

In addition to the thrill of meeting the stars of their favorite paranormal investigative TV show in person, seminar attendees also received important advice about engaging in social relations with others, even with those who are not X-Files characters.

"Sometimes, you can achieve the same sort of close, deeply involved relationship that you have with the characters we play on X-Files, but with another, living, non-fictional person, who actually lives in the real world," Anderson said.

Continued Anderson: "Agent Scully does not believe in spaceships. But she most definitely does believe in friendships."

Response from seminar attendees was overwhelmingly positive.

"Scully is a very skeptical FBI agent, and I was skeptical about this seminar at first," said Chris Froman, 23, reachable at www.xfiles.cancerman.com. "But just as Mulder can convince Scully that anything's possible, I have also been convinced that friendship is a goal I might someday reach."

Added fan Frank "The Doctor" Hugh: "Scully is sexy, but I like Lois Lane. Isn't Teri Hatcher hot?"

For at least one fan, the seminar led to an important "letting-go" of false dreams. Cleveland Heights resident Maria Renquist, 27, broke down in tears when she and Duchovny shared an "honesty moment," mediated by Dr. Rosenblum, in which the actor told her kindly but firmly that he was not attracted to her, and never would be.

"I learned a lot today," Renquist said, "like how Mulder is a fictional character and stuff."

According to Rosenblum, much credit for the event's success lies in its simulation of the attendees' imaginary fan-lives in a seminar setting.

"X-Files fans divide themselves into two categories," Rosenblum said. "There are the 'Shippers' (short for 'relationshippers'), who are those who want Mulder and Scully to become romantically involved, and 'Non-Shippers,' who feel that a sexual relationship between the two characters, while vicariously fulfilling, would ruin the show's chemistry."

"In my seminar," Rosenblum said, "fans are divided into the same two categories, with 'Shippers' being the ones who desperately crave a relationship in real life, and 'Non-Shippers' being those who have given up hope of ever having a relationship with another person."

"The slogan of X-Files is 'Trust No One,'" Duchovny told the crowd in his closing remarks. "But I want you to learn to trust each other, and let social relationships—just like the ones you've seen on TV—materialize in your own lives. The friends are out there."

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