adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

X Games Perused To See If That Kid With The Skateboard From High School Is In It

TUALATIN, OR—Twenty-seven-year-old local resident Tom Portwood reportedly watched the X Games for nearly a half-hour Saturday, curious to see if that kid who skateboarded in high school was now participating in any of the events. “I think his name was Jake Baggenstoff, and I remember he was pretty good even when we were freshmen,” Portwood told reporters, recalling that Baggenstoff had been featured in a couple skating videos for sale at Zumiez and definitely had a sponsor at some point. “I saw him in a picture with Tony Hawk once. I’m not sure if they were skating against each other or Jake was just a fan, but who knows?” Although Portwood did not see Baggenstoff, he was fairly certain the guy who won third place in BMX Freestyle Big Air was the kid from one town over who always wrapped his bicycle in electrical tape.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close