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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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X Games Perused To See If That Kid With The Skateboard From High School Is In It

TUALATIN, OR—Twenty-seven-year-old local resident Tom Portwood reportedly watched the X Games for nearly a half-hour Saturday, curious to see if that kid who skateboarded in high school was now participating in any of the events. “I think his name was Jake Baggenstoff, and I remember he was pretty good even when we were freshmen,” Portwood told reporters, recalling that Baggenstoff had been featured in a couple skating videos for sale at Zumiez and definitely had a sponsor at some point. “I saw him in a picture with Tony Hawk once. I’m not sure if they were skating against each other or Jake was just a fan, but who knows?” Although Portwood did not see Baggenstoff, he was fairly certain the guy who won third place in BMX Freestyle Big Air was the kid from one town over who always wrapped his bicycle in electrical tape.

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