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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Yahoo Back On Top After Purchasing Millions Of 13-Year-Old Girls’ Blogs

SUNNYVALE, CA—Finally overcoming competition from the likes of Google, Microsoft, and AOL, internet corporation Yahoo firmly re-secured its place as an industry leader after Sunday’s purchase of millions of blogs written by 13-year-old girls. “While Yahoo has seen its share of struggles over the years, the company’s acquisition of over 100 million blogs written by middle-school females before bedtime has already majorly revitalized the company’s brand,” said BCG consultant Timothy Shore, praising the $1.1 billion purchase of web pages filled with complaints about parents, speculation about cute boys in school, and photos of Robert Pattinson. “Yahoo is looking to the future here, and tying the entire life of their company to a bunch of pubescent girl bloggers was the smart move.” Yahoo has projected that 13-year-old Melissa Wheeler’s blog, mellisasworld.tumlbr.com, would eventually pull in over $2.3 billion for the company.

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