adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Yankee Players Boo When A-Rod Shown On Jumbotron

NEW YORK—A chorus of boos accompanied by shouts of “You suck!” “Get out of town, asshole!” and “Die!” could be heard from the New York Yankees dugout Monday when Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez was briefly shown on the stadium’s jumbotron during opening day ceremonies, team sources confirmed. “You’re not a true Yankee and you never were!” Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano reportedly screamed at the center-field video screen when a stadium cameraman focused on Rodriguez, who was sitting next to Cano in the dugout at the time. “Fuck you, Fuck-Rod! You little bitch.” While Yankee players and coaches proceeded to flip off Rodriguez’s projected image, the third baseman appeared unaffected, staring straight ahead and eating sunflower seeds.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close