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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Yankees Disabled List Absolutely Stacked

NEW YORK—After recently acquiring third baseman Alex Rodriguez, center fielder Curtis Granderson, first baseman Mark Teixeira, and shortstop Derek Jeter, the New York Yankees disabled list is absolutely stacked this year, sources confirmed Thursday. “This is a deep, deep DL,” said ESPN baseball analyst John Kruk, who noted that the injured list is loaded with power, speed, and multiple probable Hall of Famers. “Looking at the sheer talent they have, from top to bottom it’s a murderers’ row. If they can land a couple quality pitchers, this could be one of those historic disabled lists that people talk about for decades to come.” At press time, unconfirmed rumors indicated that the Yankees’ formidable disabled list may soon acquire Cy Young–winning left-handed pitcher CC Sabathia.

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