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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Yankees Fans Turn On Mariano Rivera After Spat With Wildly Popular Joba Chamberlain

NEW YORK—Following the pair’s highly publicized confrontation before a game last week, New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera reportedly felt the full wrath of fans Tuesday evening for crossing widely beloved Yankees icon Joba Chamberlain. “Nobody messes with Joba around here and gets away with it,” said 46-year-old lifelong fan Chris Ferland, one of thousands loudly booing Rivera during the team’s game against the Seattle Mariners before chants of “Joba” erupted around Yankee Stadium. “Joba Chamberlain is the heart and soul of the Yankees—when you think of the pinstripes, you think Chamberlain. That Rivera guy better learn his place and show some damn respect.” According to sources, the backlash, while fierce, still pales in comparison to fan outrage when shortstop Derek Jeter reportedly had a falling out with Yankees legend Alex Rodriguez in 2006.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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