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Yankees Hat Purchased

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Yankees Hat Purchased

WAYNE, NJ—Thirty-six-year-old Ian Althoff, a self-professed casual baseball fan, purchased a fitted New York Yankees baseball cap Monday for the retail price of $33.99. "I've been meaning to get a hat, so I thought I'd just go ahead and get a Yankees one," Althoff told reporters from inside a Lids store at the Willowbrook Mall in Wayne, NJ. "I like Derek Jeter. And [ex-Yankee Hideki] Matsui is good. The NY in the middle is pretty cool." Althoff's new Yankees hat is the 4,754,833,624,064th of its kind purchased since 1913.

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