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Yankees Honor Derek Jeter, Retire His Number, Forcibly Remove Him From Stadium

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Yankees Honor Derek Jeter, Retire His Number, Forcibly Remove Him From Stadium

NEW YORK—In a farewell ceremony before the team’s Tuesday night game against the Rays, the New York Yankees paid tribute to longtime shortstop Derek Jeter by officially retiring his number and then forcibly escorting him out of the stadium, sources confirmed. “Over 18 incredible seasons, Derek was one of the best players baseball has ever seen, and his amazing career speaks for itself,” Yankees GM Brian Cashman said to the crowd as he walked Jeter—who repeatedly looked around in confusion—to center field while former teammates Jorge Posada, Paul O’Neill, and Bernie Williams unveiled the number 2 jersey in Monument Park. “While we’re all sad that this is his last appearance at Yankee Stadium, none of us will ever forget his amazing contributions to this ball club. It’ll be strange not seeing you out there anymore, Derek, but you’ll always be remembered as an all-time Yankee great. So let’s hear it one last time for our captain, Derek Jeter!” The ceremony reportedly concluded as security guards took Jeter’s hand and waved it to the crowd, dragged him inside the stadium against his will, and then shoved him out into the parking lot.

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