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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Yankees Liken A-Rod's Growing Greed To Kino From Steinbeck's The Pearl

NEW YORK—In a two-page, 500-word report released Monday, Yankees GM Brian Cashman compared the destructive force of Alex Rodriguez's greed to the plight of Kino, the impoverished Mexican diver from John Steinbeck's 1947 novella, The Pearl. "Just as when Kino discovered the 'Pearl of the World' and allowed his love of profit to supplant his love of family, so has A-Rod's desire for wealth perverted his immense talent. Once so pure and innocent, his natural ability has been transformed into nothing more than an agent for financial gain," Cashman wrote, noting that A-Rod's dilemma exposes the fallacy of the American Dream and also that a baseball is like a giant pearl. "If A-Rod gives in to the temptation of riches beyond his wildest dreams, he could suffer the same fate as Kino—lowball offers from equally greedy owners, contempt from those who once loved him, and the death of his young son Coyotito." Rodriguez called Cashman's comments untrue, confusing in parts, and repetitive, and gave him a D+.

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