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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Yankees Re-Sign Popular Mascot Derek Jeter

NEW YORK—Following weeks of tense negotiations, the New York Yankees finally agreed Wednesday to a $51 million, three-year deal to bring back the team's much-loved mascot Derek Jeter. "This decision was for the fans, because so many of them come to games just to look at Derek or take pictures with him," Yankees GM Brian Cashman told reporters, adding that the mascot's presence alone is enough to boost team morale. "With his goofy smile and antics on the field, he makes Yankee Stadium a family experience. Kids just love the hilarious way he swings and misses at pitches and struggles to cover ground at shortstop." Cashman hinted that Derek Jeter would have an updated appearance this season, with an improved, slightly balder look.

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