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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Yankees Re-Sign Popular Mascot Derek Jeter

NEW YORK—Following weeks of tense negotiations, the New York Yankees finally agreed Wednesday to a $51 million, three-year deal to bring back the team's much-loved mascot Derek Jeter. "This decision was for the fans, because so many of them come to games just to look at Derek or take pictures with him," Yankees GM Brian Cashman told reporters, adding that the mascot's presence alone is enough to boost team morale. "With his goofy smile and antics on the field, he makes Yankee Stadium a family experience. Kids just love the hilarious way he swings and misses at pitches and struggles to cover ground at shortstop." Cashman hinted that Derek Jeter would have an updated appearance this season, with an improved, slightly balder look.

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