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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Yankees To Rest Pitching Mound After 8 Innings Of CC Sabathia

NEW YORK— Yankees manager Joe Girardi announced at a press conference Tuesday his plans to give the pitching mound a few days of rest to fully recover from enduring eight grueling innings of hurler CC Sabathia. "A long outing of Sabathia really put a strain on the mound, and the last thing we want to do is risk permanent damage," said Girardi, adding that the pitching mound was iced down to prevent swelling. "The mound has been a valuable asset this year, and we have a huge investment at stake. But it's a long season and we are definitely concerned that is was so worn down after one start by CC. From here on out the mound will be limited to a strict pitcher count." While Girardi said he hopes it won't be long before the pitching mound is back out on the field, he maintained that the unfortunate situation provides an opportunity for dirt from the bullpen to get a few starts.

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