Yankees To Rest Pitching Mound After 8 Innings Of CC Sabathia

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Vol 48 Issue 21

$lapping $trangers

MTV 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST Contestants must slap as many unsuspecting passersby as they can for a chance to win $300.

Report: 5th Floor A Bunch Of Pompous Dicks

SEATTLE—Citing their stuck-up attitudes and stupid, hip little outfits, a devastating new report from Waverly Building sources found Tuesday that the people who work on the fifth floor are a bunch of pompous dicks.

Friends Of Friends

NBC 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST In tonight's episode of this spin-off of the classic '90s sitcom, Charlie and five other more-or-less strangers awkwardly talk about what a great guy Ross is while trying to discreetly check the time.

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan

The Senate Appropriations Committee voted 30-0 to cut aid to Pakistan by $33 million after the country’s government arrested and sentenced a doctor who tipped off the United States to Osama bin Laden's location.
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Yankees To Rest Pitching Mound After 8 Innings Of CC Sabathia

NEW YORK— Yankees manager Joe Girardi announced at a press conference Tuesday his plans to give the pitching mound a few days of rest to fully recover from enduring eight grueling innings of hurler CC Sabathia. "A long outing of Sabathia really put a strain on the mound, and the last thing we want to do is risk permanent damage," said Girardi, adding that the pitching mound was iced down to prevent swelling. "The mound has been a valuable asset this year, and we have a huge investment at stake. But it's a long season and we are definitely concerned that is was so worn down after one start by CC. From here on out the mound will be limited to a strict pitcher count." While Girardi said he hopes it won't be long before the pitching mound is back out on the field, he maintained that the unfortunate situation provides an opportunity for dirt from the bullpen to get a few starts.

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