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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Yao Ming Living Up To Height Expectations

HOUSTON—Despite initial skepticism among NBA fans and analysts, Rockets center Yao Ming has had no trouble living up to the expectations of coaches and players that he would be 7'5" tall. "There was a lot of hype surrounding Yao's stature when he was selected as the first overall pick in the 2002 NBA draft, but he has turned out to be one of the most consistently tall players in the league," NBA analyst Marc Stein said. "Every time he runs out on the court, he's as tall as he can possibly be, and while Yao's shown no signs of improving in this area of his game, he's certainly not getting any shorter, either." Stein added that, while many suggested he could never match up against his star-center counterpart Shaquille O'Neal, Yao has been at least four inches greater than him in every contest this season.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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