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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Yao Ming's Self-Written Wedding Vows Include How He Loves The Top Of His Wife's Head

SHANGHAI—Houston Rockets and Chinese national team center Yao Ming, 7'6",  married his longtime 6'3" girlfriend, Ye Li, last week in a ceremony for which Yao wrote  nuptial vows praising, among other things, the top of Ye's head. "Ye, my beloved, to glimpse the onyx brilliance of the top of your head sends through me a rush of love strong enough to lift a thousand mountains," Yao intoned nervously yet earnestly as he gazed almost straight down into Ye's eyes. "And your dear sweet shoulders are like two tiny, distant doves nesting beneath that deep abiding well of wisdom and kindness." Yao's poetic efforts were obviously much appreciated by his beaming wife and generally well-received by family and friends, although Yao seemed annoyed when asked by American sports reporters if Ye's feet "looked like they'd been bound when seen from all the way up there."

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