Years Of Networking, Glad-Handing Sabotaged By Coworker's Good Idea

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 06

Digital TV Conversion Delayed

Congress voted to move the conversion to digital television from Feb. 17 to June 12 because of a shortage of government funding for coupons that help...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Late Night

Years Of Networking, Glad-Handing Sabotaged By Coworker's Good Idea

SEATTLE—After devoting nearly a decade of his life to brown-nosing and back-scratching every person who might have the authority to promote him, 38-year-old Westlake Electronic Supplies employee Benjamin Golliver saw his professional ambitions shattered Monday by a coworker's single good idea. "I feigned interest in people's children, I took squash lessons, I went on a three-day kayak trip to Puget Sound, and for what?" Golliver asked. "So goddamn Bill Belgiorno could swoop in with his sound, resourceful plan to reduce corporate travel costs and snatch the assistant manager of operations position right out from under me? What a sick, backwards world we live in." Golliver said he plans to respond to the incident by spending the next five years furiously sucking up to assistant manager of operations William T. Belgiorno.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More