'Yogi Bear' Movie Introduces Boring Cartoon Character To New Generation

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 49

Dead Teen Had Pretty Terrible Life Ahead Of Him, Parents Report

PONCHA SPRINGS, CO—Still reeling from the sudden loss of their 17-year-old son last week, parents Ben and Martha Harwich spoke Tuesday about the largely unremarkable young man they said would have faced a disappointing and frustrating future had his life not been cut short by a car accident.

Don Meredith

He was the first Dallas Cowboys quarterback to have a winning season and the first star ex-player on Monday Night Football, but he was still much loved. Was he any good?

Kelsey Grammer Engaged

Though a divorce from his current wife has not been finalized, Kelsey Grammer, 55, best known for his portrayal of Dr.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Small Business

'Yogi Bear' Movie Introduces Boring Cartoon Character To New Generation

BURBANK, CA—Executives at Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. announced today that the upcoming 3-D live-action/CGI film Yogi Bear will introduce a whole new generation to a dull, culturally irrelevant cartoon character. "Finally, today's children will have the chance to be completely uninspired by the same inane and repetitive gags that failed to capture their parents' imagination," Warner Bros. spokesperson Ian Daley said of the cartoon bear, whose trademark defining feature is that he wears a hat. "So kids of all ages: Get ready to be bored to tears by the antics of a bear and his little bear sidekick who sometimes get hungry!" Daley added that the film will also introduce a new generation to a stupid, unfunny way to say "picnic basket."

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More