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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Zdeno Chara Out Two To Three Periods With Fractured Skull, Broken Leg

BOSTON—Team doctors announced that Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara was cleared to return to the ice for the third period of tonight's game with the Calgary Flames after he used the 15-minute intermission to rehabilitate from a fractured skull and broken leg he received during the first period of play. "He's a tough kid," said team physician Dr. Thomas Gill, adding that Chara will forego wearing a brace that would hold together his snapped femur so that his mobility is not impeded. "Because his head is so swollen, he probably won't be able to fit into a helmet, but he prefers it that way." Chara didn't miss one shift during the third period, tallying one assist and an empty-net goal.

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