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Zoo Hosts Contest To Name Baby Of Pregnant Gift Shop Worker

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Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

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Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.

McDonald’s Announces New Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac

OAK BROOK, IL—Calling the new menu item a cool, refreshing way for consumers to finish their meals, McDonald’s officials introduced the Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac during a press event Tuesday at the company’s corporate headquarters.
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Zoo Hosts Contest To Name Baby Of Pregnant Gift Shop Worker

SACRAMENTO, CA—Saying that entries would be accepted from the public until the April 4 due date, officials from the Sacramento Zoo launched a contest this week to name the baby of the zoo’s pregnant gift shop cashier, Ashley Munson. “Everyone here at the Sacramento Zoo is excited for Ashley’s first child to arrive, and we wanted to share that excitement with the community by allowing zoo patrons to help us name her baby,” said zoo spokesperson William Fuentes, adding that after the offspring is born to the $10.50-per-hour employee, a winning name will be selected and announced on the zoo’s website, and its author will be awarded two free tickets to the zoo plus an opportunity to have their picture taken alongside the newborn. “We want you to have fun, be creative, and be sure to check out our Twitter and Facebook pages daily to vote on your favorite names. And of course, come by the Sacramento Zoo gift shop to visit the expectant mom, or take a stroll over to the nearby churro stand to see the father, Mike.” According to initial online voting, the current frontrunning names are “Bobo” and “Steph Curry.”

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