CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Stunned shock and dismay were just a few of the reactions from Bobby Guntergrass on Tuesday when the 10-year-old learned that the woman from The Guinness Book Of World Records who has the ability to pop her bulging eyeballs nearly all the way out of their sockets was not a millionaire. "No way, she's gotta to be rich," said Guntergrass, adding that, if he himself possessed the woman's unique attribute, he would be a billionaire. "Maybe she spent it all on a giant house. Yeah, that makes sense. She probably bought a huge mansion." At press time, Guntergrass had reportedly grown even more disillusioned after learning that the man who holds the record for the world's longest fingernails lives in a developing nation and has no access to clean water.
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