JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Despite having spent eight of the last 10 days in his classmate’s living room playing Xbox alongside him, local 12-year-old Michael Cutler admitted to reporters Wednesday that he couldn’t even venture a guess as to what the boy’s name is. “Jeez, I could describe what he looks like, but honestly I don’t know if I’ve ever caught his name. Sam? Aaron, maybe?” Cutler said, noting that based on casual observations, he could recall that the fellow sixth-grader’s Xbox Live account is batman672, he has a turtle, and he “completely flips his shit” when you accidentally shoot him in Call Of Duty. “It might be Justin. I know there’s a Justin there, I’m just not sure if it’s his house or he’s one of the other guys who also comes over to play Xbox after school. There are a few Erics in my grade, too, so there’s a decent chance it could be Eric, but that’s really a total shot in the dark.” Cutler added, however, that if asked, he could easily name each of the 21 games his friend owns as well as every variety of snack food in his pantry.