Sen. E'eek Finback (D-AO) has already emerged as a frontrunner for the 2057 Democratic presidential nomination, but some say America isn't ready for a female dolphin in the White House. What do you think?

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  I have nothing but respect for members of the Delphinidae family, but a female dolphin's place is in the sea, raising her calves.

  Jim Hansen Prime
  Meta-metallurgist

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  Sen. Finback has nothing new to add to the national discourse. Frankly, she's just blowing hot air and saltwater mist.

  Sol Gundam
  Gay-Divorce Lawyer

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  Well, former president Koko has already signed off on her, saying, 'Dolphin yes woman good give banana now dolphin yes.'

  Edwin Gaines
  Syndicator

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  Do you think E'eek would be doing so well if she were a squat-bodied Pacific white-side dolphin instead of a cute bottlenose? I seriously doubt it.

  Tammy Lester
  DNA Archivist

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  I find her background inspiring. Do you know she was caught in a tuna net at the age of six months, only to graduate magna cum laude from Harvard Law School 12 years later?

  Jim Hansen II
  Hypermarketer

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  Tk-tkk-tk-tkik-tik! USA! USA! USA! Tk-tik-tkkk!

  P. Wiggles
  Systems Analyst