-
  • Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff
  • Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well
  • Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats
  • Nation's Telephone Conversation Fans Thrilled By Long-Awaited Mayweather-Pacquiao Phone Call
  • Controversial GoDaddy.com Super Bowl Commercial To Feature Scantily Clad Woman Performing Late-Term Abortion
  • Brandon Marshall Proves What He’s Capable Of If Defenses Play At 50 Percent

Sports News in Brief

A.J. Burnett Blames Poor Outing On Stupid Good Hitters

May 3, 2007 | ISSUE 43•18

CLEVELAND—After giving up seven earned runs over just five innings against the Indians Tuesday, Blue Jays starter A.J. Burnett told reporters that his ineffectiveness on the mound could be attributed to "the stupid good hitters on the other team who kept hitting all my pitches." "Stupid good hitters, always hitting home runs," said Burnett, responding to a question about his inability to locate the curveball. "I was throwing the ball real fast, but it's like they couldn't miss. Every single guy, too, not just the good ones. Ooh, they think they're so great, getting doubles and triples and RBIs. Stupid bunch of jerks." Burnett added, however, that he would have fared better if his dumb defense could ever catch a ball for once in their lives.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.