Now that he’s dead, The Onion would like it to be known that every anonymous source ever quoted in this paper was this one guy, Steve Browne of Del Rio, TX.
More Corrections
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Last Tuesday, The Onion accidentally printed a photo of a nun feeding an apple to a horse everywhere a photo belonged.
The Birthday Girl
An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.
We're So Sorry
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.



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